| 
  • If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • Get control of your email attachments. Connect all your Gmail accounts and in less than 2 minutes, Dokkio will automatically organize your file attachments. You can also connect Dokkio to Drive, Dropbox, and Slack. Sign up for free.

View
 

Garahe

Page history last edited by Fractal 11 years, 5 months ago

GARAHE

 

Garahe, an interdimensional wielder of awesome, is a respected member of Nebtown server. Garahe always types in third person in pages like this, in order to make Garahe seem more important.

 

Ok fuck that. Typing in third person is annoying.

 

Anyways. This is MY page. MINE. You are reading it because I AM ALLOWING YOU TO. NEVER FORGET THAT. D:<

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Garahe possesses numerous dangerous weapons, such as the ability to shapeshift, fire microwave lasers out of the palms of his/her/it's hands, become an alternate version of itself that can be male, female, or a strange combination of both, and has been known to possess blood that is either highly acidic or is pure green absinthe. Garahe also tries too hard to be amusing, and often fails at it, as you have seen. Garahe excells at building massive, cool looking but useless things in spacebuild, as they do not know how to lifesupport worth a damn. Garahe also have a bad habit of rambling about shit nobody cares about.

 

Did I ever tell you about the time I singlehandedly took down the entire Krom empire? No? Well here's how it went. I was chilling with everyone you know that is cool, when suddenly a giant spacecraft resembling an ugly, shattered dinner plate descended from the sky and started firing proton torpedos at anything that moved. Turns out that this monstrosity was a Krom mothership. THE mothership. So I called up my BFF DANGER DIRK, one of the greatest starfighter pilots ever to live, to fly me directly into the center of it so I could daringly leap out and enter the ship, kill every crew member with my bare hands, and then strangle the Krom leader using a sentient snake I have in my backpack named Kevin.

 

Anyways, the plan worked just as I had wanted it to. Danger Dirk flew me directly in, dodging the most dangerous of howitzer shots, and dropped me off at what looked like an alien version of a chinese restaurant. I let loose my molten fury and fired a microwave laser into the crowd, watching as they all caught fire and died. Following this I ordered a noodle bowl. After superheating the noodles and using them as a deadly weapon to kill the chef, I set out on my journey to the bridge. There was a sign that said "THIS WAY TO BRIDGE?" but the question mark threw me off. I did not go down that hallway. I should have known that the question mark is their version of the period. Instead, I had wandered into their noob-holding chambers, with pathetic whiny retards looking at me and asking me to free them. I did what any decent person would do.

 

I fried each and every single one of them, and used their corpses to fuel Danger Dirk's experimental fighter jet.

 

I fought for hours through waves after waves of aliens, like a bad knockoff of Metal Slug or Contra. Finally I reached the reactor core. It required that I find a long, silver oval to place on top of the core, which would start the chain reaction that would destroy the ship. The Krom have the bottom half of a scorpion, and the upper half of anything from an ugly man to a massively hot woman. Their undersides are also silver, and decorated with medals that look like bees. Anyways, most of the Krom I encountered were fugly. At least until I got to the command bridge. Apparently attractiveness is a sign of status. First, they shot at me. Then I transformed into a cold, heartless machine and they stopped. They were stunned by the jagged architecture of my new form, which I used to destroy every single control panel in the room. I fired an EMP pulse from my third eye and leapt backwards, taking my trusty katana-that-only-appears-in-telekinetic-god-robot-form, and cut down more of the lowly fuglies, who had fucked up crawdads helping them fight. The captain, a massively hawt woman, then proclaimed her love for me.

 

And thats how I became the first non-Krom to decimate a planet in the name of the Krom empire.

 

...Did you get all that? No? Well I left some details out, like the amazing amount of anime cliches I noticed aboard the ship. And the mindblowing amount of green in their hallways.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a successful period of unfunnyness, Garahe attempts to be serious.

 

I am a god when it comes to building totally useless but cool looking things with the Spacebuild Model pack. My ships are often randomly designed, but never lose that Garahe touch (such as the fact that they will sometimes bristle with weapons, or have a hidden command area).

 

STOP READING THIS

 

DAMNIT STOP

 

NOW

 

STOP

Comments (4)

Katlatze said

at 7:04 pm on Jan 21, 2009

LOL

Kat offers you the BEST USER PAGE STORY award.

Garahe said

at 7:17 pm on Jan 21, 2009

I am winrar.

Fractal said

at 1:40 am on Jan 22, 2009

I am error.

Garahe said

at 10:43 am on Jan 22, 2009

:3

You don't have permission to comment on this page.