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DucksofGrass

Page history last edited by DucksofGrass 9 years, 4 months ago

DUCKO HERE

 

Yep that's me. Your friendly neighborhood C.E.O. and owner of DuckCo, provider of all services you use!

From our wonderful innovations such as:

ABSORBONAPKINS!

BurnIt!

 

and most importantly:

AIDS 2.0

 

Bolded and italicized to provide emphasis!

But enough of how wonderful my company is, and how I own the contract to Ms. Katringa, let's talk about me, shall we?

 

MY LIFE (arbitrarily)


In the beginning, mankind was at a war with itself, being embroiled in a conflict known as "capitalism". Now some of the more radical members of the human race tried to flee this ever conflict-ridden system, only to be met with corruption and full-scale econamic collapse (Yes, ecoNAMics, it's different from economics. But I can't be bothered to teach right now, I'm in the middle of an audacious autobiography!). Many tried to their fullest extents to fix this horrible system the world kept falling into, but to no avail. Then came along our econamic savior: SIR DUCKO OF GRASS.

 

Now this ravishing young fellow changed the world. He brought order and peace to the economic system, by simply providing the illusion of payment and competition, while actually just controlling all the ins and outs himself. Yes, this is a lot of power to have in one man's hand, but seeing as how he is the savior of the econamic world, he can handle it. This charade continued until finally, in a daunting move, Sir Ducko "bought" his illusory competition, ready to be the one world wide monopoly, finally bringing to rest any form of econamic crisis. 

 

And this brings us to the pinnacle of DuckCo's acheivement: The nano-nolphinites. By researching the nolphins created by none other than NebCorp, an unknowing subsidiary of DuckCo, we've managed to create nano-scale nolphins that are self-assimilating; meaning, they take on the form of whatever they are programmed to, leading to:

 

Project: Nebtown


 

Now Project Nebtown was originally supposed to be an experiment to try and clone the supposedly "perfect" human specimen, "Alpha" Nebual (Alpha denoting him as the first).

There were 7 experiments, taking place in unsuspecting Victoria, BC, Canada.

 

The first attempt went horribly wrong, with even the sex changed. This prototype NebClone, as they were dubbed, was given the official name NbC-0001-00-A but the staff mostly called her Katringa (and variations). The Alpha Nebual and the Beta Nebual both showed an extreme affection for this model, however, so it was kept around for enjoyment of the staff, and to mediate conflicts between the other units 

 

The second attempted clone became a bit more rancorous than the original model, and was prone to completely nonsensical ramblings. However, it was a step closer to the goal of "alpha" Nebual emulation. This unit was named NbC-0001-01, but demanded to be named NEON. This unit ran from the initial testing location, and it's current location is unknown.

 

The third attempt at "Alpha" emulation took a turn for the homosexual. While some staff members considered this a step towards Neb-dom, many just assumed the homosexuality factor was turned up way to high. This unit, NbC-0001-02, went on wild rampages about how his name was to impersonal, and wanted to be named Kris, for whatever reason. This unit, like the one before it, escaped the original testing location, and subsequently had it's memory of prior habitation wiped.

 

The fourth was an outright deviation from Nebual emulation, and just resulted in a being who's personality cannot be contained in a single document. In fact, I personally believe that this unit has more personality than the whole Earth, combined. This unit, who's number had to be completely deviated, initially was FcC-0000-00-Fc, was renamed Fractal, due to the unit's fondness for self-similarity.

 

The fifth, unit NbC-0002-01, was the next generation of Nebual emulation, however, being off only in its overly analytical and logical behavior, to the point of causing confrontations with some other units, even staff sometimes. However, these were usually patched over by either the Kat unit, or by time itself. This unit also seems to slip into spells of Nebual-normality, which establishes it as the head of the second generation of Nebual-emulating Nano-nolphinites. This unit was named Memnoc by the staff, and Louis by the other units. This unit shows an extreme fondness for Proto-Norse and Norse mythology and culture, to the point of familiarizing itself with the full range of Futhark-based scripts.

 

The sixth unit proved the most troublesome, being completely irrational at points, but at others, being the life of the party. Unit NbC-0002-02 was affectionately called Larmo, a reversal of Marlo (arbitrarily). This leads to the phrase," Larmographical Error", a portmanteau of the phrase,"typographical error" and "Larmo". This phrase can about to describe the unit's irrational spasms, and to describe the random mistypings and errors made.

 

The seventh unit was the pinnacle of the whole project, completely emulating Alpha Nebual in every respect. This unit is cryptic and reclusive at times, but at others, is lively and frivolous. This unit also adores Lua coding, and loves to program in general, creating and destroying as he pleases. He is the de facto leader of the Nebtown project, being the goal of the whole project. This unit, NcB-Prime or, Beta Nebual, "Neb" for short, has a lively relationship with the Katringa unit, and maintains the community and the validity of the experiment.


 

Now obviously, this article is a lot more about Project: Nebtown than it is actually about me. However, this information is classified, and cannot be seen by the general public. If you'd like to make an appointment, fuck you.

 

Thanks and enjoy DuckCo's products!

 

 

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