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Nebtown Gazelle: Afghanistan Still Like Totally Dangerous

Page history last edited by Bob Dole 10 years, 5 months ago

     Despite growing concern that the mission in Afghanistan is growing stale, the NATO troops stationed there were hasty to report that everything is still pretty dangerous, and like at least one person per week still gets like blown up, and stuff. Shortly following the death of the one hundred, and fiftieth Canadian soldier in Afghanistan many peace protester hippies began openly discussing their opinions in logical, and orderly manners. Despicable. With most of the news centered on that one Canadian General who really fucked up, it's hard to convince people that troops are still needed.

(When If You Can't Keep In Your Pants Keep It In The Company Doesn't Work)

     Some argue that the cost of sending people to sit around play with guns, and refrain from banging women far outweighs the benefits of the operation. That the bases on Kandahar have more problems with staffing the Tim Horton's shops than dealing with insurgents. Some even say that it's just a way to keep those with military careers on the payroll so they can get that really great job after going to college that the military paid for which is like what everyone does right? I mean don't they just like go there to pay for that shit. I mean how can that be a crime just to want a better life by serving in the military for a few years. But all those people would be totally self-centered unpatriotic assholes, and such so their opinions doesn't matter.

(Absolutely Disgusting, How Could So Many Egotistical Jerks Oppose The War)

     The Gazelle did some completely unbiased digging, and came up with the full true story.

     " It in in the best interests of the Canadian Armed Forces Country that we continue our the fight in Afghanistan. Each day a brave Canadian risks his life by going out walking across the street to his recreational hall, and being shit bored standing guard vigilantly without end. The Taliban hasn't been eliminated and their women hating ways will not go away. Many brave souls have already perished due to Improvised Explosives Devices which are seriously fucking bad. Everyday these valiant men go out get all dusty, and might get blown up randomly. It is imperative that we continue to send support for these soldiers, and Afghanistan. I mean it's like rank 181 on the Human Development Index, that's like fucking second last. Without the help of our hastily imposed democracy gifts of freedom, the country could very well fall back into that nasty drug habit it's been trying to quit for the past five decades. Seriously Afghanistan is like seriously hooked on the shmack, and it like really needs help. It is also important to note that while there may indeed be another war going on in Iraq it was Afghanistan that was the first place to be like liberated from an evil regime in the 21st century, and with a better cause too. So there is totally like no reason to pay attention to Iraq or anything. In closing we have found it has been found that it is vital that Canada supports us itself in this time of great peril. Which there totally is going on in Afghanistan if you've forgotten anything by the way."

     Yes it is certainly vitally important the war in Afghanistan continue for the sake of freedom. It's still such a hostile place, and the Afghanistan army can totally not handle the conditions right now I mean it's not like 25% of them desert their cause, and collaborate with the Taliban. Bunch of communists. Most importantly think of the Donuts  After all you wouldn't want let all those Tim Horton's stands go to waste would you?

( You Really Think It's Worth It Punk? )




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