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Nebtown Gazelle : Shocking Revelation in Being a Good Demoman

Page history last edited by Bob Dole 13 years, 9 months ago

     Recently, the Nebtown team did some digging into the Demo man's illustrious past. The hypothesis from what we had heard was that being a good Demoman simply meant being alive to discuss it. However recent information has sparked a complete revisit in this previously concrete belief. Many believed the Black Scottish cyclops simply became an expert Demoman when he joined the team, and that he was simply the only one left alive to qualify. Now Nebtowners will get a close-up look into the secret life... of the Demoman.

     Early Life

      The Demoman began life as any normal child that had been orphaned at birth. Filled with angst, and two eyes the Demoman soon found a way to cope. This method of course was blowing the shit out of everything. As he grew he developed into a fine young lad who dreamed of blowing up the Loch Ness monster. Of course his plan ultimately failed as the Loch Ness monster dove to depths unfathomable, a place where even a C4 shock wave couldn't reach. Seriously you ever seen that episode of Myth busters where they tested explosive shock waves in water? I mean yeah it was kind of inconclusive, and just another excuse for Myth busters to blow shit up, but it was alright. Okay, okay I realize that the show has practically little scientific value, but you can't say that those explosions weren't awesome right? His parnets were also lost in the blast, it happens. Later on he was enrolled at the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans in the Scottish highlands where he became a proficient explosives expert. It is said that here he developed a prototype of his signature weapon the grenade launcher. It could blow up many things including one of his eyes.

     The Truth Revealed

     Before long the little DMan became a legend it the art of blowuppery. His original parnets spontaneously appeared at the orphanage to explain his rite of passage. He soon learned all Demo men were abandoned at birth until their explosive potential was revealed. They left again, and the cyclops slipped into a life alcoholism, and professional demolitions work. He began manufacturing bombs using his an iconic formula. "One crossed wire, a wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, along with one errant twitch." This simple recipe boosted the Demo man's reputation to god-like status. Later he developed the fabled sticky grenade launcher that could detonate grenades on cue. These grenades became a trademark of his work, and he enjoyed showing them off. He could be seen posing on many a magazine with his favourite bottle of scrumpy. He is also seen in an autobiographical video describing his role in the Red vs Blue conflict, however mainly straying of course warning the audience that he is a grim bloody fable of which can only have grim bloody ends. Currently the Demoman is still embezzled in the Red vs Blue conflict appearing on both sides or at least seeming too. He can be found lobbing grenades, and mining choke points.

Oh his name is also Tavish Degroot, and he's black but it's best if you don't talk about that.  


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