Recently the global community has been outraged by an act of cowardice that has shaken us all. Yes it is the tale of a young male who refuses to just man up, and ask the hotest chick in the world for a measly date of casual sex. It is the disgusting story of an adolescent that commonly sports glasses, with an annoying panzy ass blue t-shirt aswell as a god damn stupid ass laptop, and his apparently not so interesting friend known commonly as "the Big W". Many know Wren by her Bangable rating where over 90% of the Earth's population scored her at an impressive 9.5.

(Pictured The Big W's Bangability Rating)

The other 10% gave her an eleven. The conflict having been a few months old, was soon caught by various organizations. Now being about a month after the issue arose, world leaders having finally caught wind of the disturbance, and are having their say.

     Many different superpowers, including Tropico, set a date for a meeting regarding the matter. The date would be a quaint November 22nd in which they would discuss the matter at hand, and what they should do about. The gathering started off relatively peaceful as the leaders were informed of the dilemma. Some world leaders from countries such as China did not attend. They simply left depressing messages. China's message was that their leader was too depressed after W had not returned even one of his calls, and that he was contemplating suicide. Russia also stated how they just really wish a nice girl like the Big W would like them, but I mean come on its not like that's gonna happen I mean she's so hot, and I'm so ugly so... y'know... I'll be fine. The countries that were there, and not completely depressed, were outraged. After learning how hot Wren was after viewing a photograph many of them openly discussed their opinions of the youth in question. How could a male with any ounce of testosterone in his body resist her?

     "She's certainly a nice girl, but my wife is the one for me... yep." said Harper with an errant twitch that almost covered up his true feelings.

     "Well I can see how many of my male colleague's may think that, but I bone a supermodel everyday!" laughed the French Prime Minister eerily. The overall concensus was that he was being a quote on quote "Total Fucking Pussy." After little debate they decided that if he did not make his move by Christmas all of the single world leaders would be on her like "Flies on Shit."

     However world leaders aren't the only ones to denounce his actions. Various lobbyists, and special rights groups have also shifted their focuses to try, and help motivate the obviously disturbed teen. Kids Help Phone was quick to say that they were available anytime Alex needed help, and if a crisis in his life was causing him to make harebrained decisions in regards to not banging her, they would help. Green Peace also was noted for saying that the cause of global warming wasn't actually carbon dioxide, but instead it was a rise in temperature due to the Big W's smoking hot appearance. Many other credible groups also gave their two cents.

     At the end of the day one question remains. How long will the world peacefully put up with the youth's cowardice. How much time does this youth have until a violent uprising is due? "Only time will tell."