With the fall of many automobile makers, such as Ford, and GM, many pedophiles are feeling the heat. With the push to go green comes an initiative to stop driving gas guzzling pedophile vans. This has caused the GM, and Ford to raise the cost of their paedophilia style vans which for most pedophiles are simply too expensive. GM's statement on the issue was "Now pedophiles always have been some of our most loyal, and trustworthy customers, but in this new day and age large, conspicuous vehicles are not the direction were looking to go. In response though we have begun production on a new pedophile car which comes complete with air conditioning stocked ice cream cooler, and of course tinted windows." While GM's attempt seemed generous 

the pedophiles denied. With no hope of any other companies making pedophile vehicles the pedophiles may be out of 

luck. We sent one of our investigative reporters to get a report from the top pedophile, and leading pedophile van expert.  It went a little something like this.

Investigative Reporter: Now can you explain to some of our uneducated readers the significance of having pedophile 

vans compared to say pedophile trucks. 

Iduch Bois: Well you see the significance of pedophile vans is not only the tradition of molesting kids in vans, but the

freedom of actions in these vans. In a van theres so much space, instead of just grabbing Bobby with that pedoprius I can take his whole group of friends too. I mean five boys is so much better than one. I know you wouldn't agree, but

to us theres really no substitute. 

Investigative Reporter: Have you, and your affiliates looked at any other types of vehicles. I hear pedophile 

snowmobiles are very effective, Russian police never see it coming.

Iduch Bois: Not really with all these green options we don't just want to become absorbed into the crowd. No one is going to be freaked out by some random tinted prius, but when a giant blue van with free candy

painted on the side comes strolling down the street you just feel right. I mean there's that saying you gotta' dress for the job, well this is like that. It's like handing you a steak then telling you wait it's too expensive now, and then handing you a used napkin for free. It's just not worth it. You can have all the used napkins you want, but you'll never make up for that van, i mean steak. 

Crocodile: Okay one final question. Have you ever considered pedophile helicopters?

Joseph: No, Never.

Well there you have it. Will things ever be the same again?