| 
  • If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

View
 

Nebtown Gazelle: New Disease Hits Asia

Page history last edited by Bob Dole 14 years, 10 months ago

Editor's Note: Firstly before opening this wonderful article about how a small virus is raping asia, I'd like to start by telling a story. Once upon a time there was a cool little "place" that everyone thought was cool, and it didn't afraid of anything. One day however an evil old administrative type "man" thought it would be cool to replace this place. However this "place" was really cool, and the place that he was gonna replace it with was totally sux0r. So he put up a rly big page, and made it luk all srs bisnis. But the other "place" was not about that much srs bisnis. So for awhile everyone tried to forget about the rly fun cool place that everyone liked, and tried to play around with a really srs place that was no fun. Now granted they both had the same purpose, and the newer place had a bunch of cool "features", which would have been fine IF THEY WEREN'T SO FUCKING GAY AND ANNOYING AND HARD AS SHIT 

 

TO USE AND MAKES PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO WRITE SO FUCKING PISSED 

 

THAT THEY CANT CHANGE FONTS EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN SECOND 

 

BECAUSE THIS FUCKING PAGE SAYS NO I HAVE TO BE ALL ORDERLY AND 

 

SHIT AND THE WRITERS ARE SITTING THERE GOING WTF MATE THAT 

 

AINT COOL AND THEN THEY GET PISSED AND NEW WIKI DIES AND BURNS 

 

IN HELL AND YES IT DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE IT BURNS IN HELL!

 

     Recently a sweeping disease has hit southern Asia in the region known as Siam to most RISK players.[ REPRESENT!] This disease has at first glance avoided immediate suspicion, but has now fallen into the serious catagory. The disease known as sup1r canc3r has been spreading across Asia faster than any other disease known to Asia, which is a pretty big deal considering it's Asia, and Asians get like a bajillion diseases every year. In the beginning it was thought to be harmless just a few coughs, sneezes, abnormally large growths, but it was a trap.  [THAT WERE NOT TUMAS!] About 2 weeks down the line things went wrong the abnormally large growths seemed to be responding to their environments. Some would flourish and some would die, and so a treatment was born. They would simply trap the sufferers into a cold as shit room and the survivors would emerge cancer free, but cold as shit. Unfortunately this only led them closer to their imminent doom. For you see, the sup1r canc3r growths, they evolved.

     These things[ THAT WERE NOT TUMAS] seemed to have mostly died, but some emerged from the cold as shit rooms. So most Asian governments shoved them into even colder rooms. It worked they thought, no one ever emerged from these rooms, but the cells had been killed hadn't they? But they hadn't. It was soon found out that these cells had developed a thought process. They had escaped the captors bodies, and transformed and rolled out of the cold cells. Weeks later the containment factilities ceased to broadcoast at regular intervals. The Asian governments while slightly less alarmed than a normal government sent a patrol. These patrols where never seen again, well maybe that was for a month. A month later huge balls came rolling into Asian cities. They had no appendages no arms no anythings, but a round fleshy ball at their center. They all knew doom was imminent they had seen what happened next all to many times for, they had created them. An eery soundtrack filled Asian cities around the world. While they knew it to a different name North Americans would call it the Katamari Damachi soundtrack. While there were numerous distress calls the Asians did not phone for help they had no chance. THEY HAD BEATEN THE FUCKING GAME THOUSANDS OF TIMES AND THEY

KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN. Sadly no one listened to them.

 They were being Asian.  Soon as tourist flights entered the area the reality had become shockingly clear. A man on the high mountains of Tibet was the first to capture the enevidable scourage of Asia. He saw a giant ball of what used to be a large chunk of a city he knew being lifted into the sky. Now he didn't know it then, but that was going to be used to create a planet. He quickly used his MOUNTAIN TELEPHONE, and reported the phenomenom. It was no use. Days later all of Asia was consumed. People ran for cover only to be absorbed into the sticky mass day in, and day out. The lumps grew spanning over continents. Within weeks, 28 weeks to be exact the entire god damn landmass of Asia,Europe, even africa was consumed. Luckily the water stopped them from proceeding. Many went into shock with around 6 billion people on the earth consumed into giant balls to be made into stars sanity was a rarity. A large movement was started to mobilize vaults to keep people incase of a breakout onto North American shores and beyond. The movement was passed with stunning results. It was a unanimous decision. The world plunged into a depression as it's main source of goods was cut off. The disease had wiped out so many, and the world did not know what to do. A few days passed, and many stars began to rise.

The disease is expected to cease being news in approximately 4 days.

 

For All Your Nebtown News.  Nebtown Gazelle Its What's For Dinner.

 

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.