Oh glorious food!

First up on our list of glorious foods:

Bacon Nachos

This glorious food will clog your arteries faster then you can eat it. While you writhe on the ground from your heart attack you shall gain 4 lbs per second until A) Your body explodes B) Your butthole rips open like goatse or C) You give a blowjob from a furry.

For dessert:

Oreo Cupcake With Built In Milk Cup

This peice of ass will fuck you up. It's a fucking Oreo cupcake. That's like fucking Oreo Ice Cream Cake. It's just fucked. Look at the fucking cookies on the side, this asshole comes with it's own fucking cookies and milk. I bet you wish you came with milk. NOT THAT WAY YOU NASTY PERSON. Fucking milk inside man. You can't just bite into this fucker, you have to fucking drink it! Anyways it's fucking good.

Tim Humps-ton's new doughtnut!

Cap'n Crunch Doughnut

Oh my ripped open asshole, this looks godly. I bet you this shit is crunchy and captainy. With 2 full servings of Captain per servings it'd better be! That's right folks 1000% of your daily reccomended Captain intake in one mother fucking doughnut. This shit is only available at your local Tim Humps-tons, and it will blow your mind with epic goodness. Yes, for those of you asking, that is fucking milk flavoured icing.

From Japan:

Squid and some white Bullshit

That's right. It's Squid and some mystery white bullshit. What the fuck is that? A jellyfish? Your mum? Probably your mum. Look at that fish dude. It's whole, skin on! You can eat that mother fuckers mouth, think about the irony, or you could slurp up the eyeball juices like the perverted cocksucker you are. Yeah I'm talking to you. This thing is fucking slimy, literally.

Forever foods:

Deep Fried Cornflake Twinkie

This my friends is the stuff of legends. What is this? THIS IS TWINKIE. Mother of fucking hell. Look at this little boner. He's got cornflakes on him. That's right these are Rooster approved goodness! That mother fucking bird saw this and had a fucking stroke just looking at it. Nom nom nom.