WELCOME TO COSTMARKET!
Where we take your money and use it to make us billionaires!
Our first product that you will buy is the amazing AbsorboNapkin!
Yes, this miracle product can absorb any location, so that you can bring it with you!
Need a bathroom, but don't have the room for one? Soak it up with AbsorboNapkin and take it with you!
Now let's move on to our paid testimonials!
"Absorbonapkin is great! Just yesterday I used it to completely remove the scene of the crime!"
-Shelia Thomas, Ph.D.
"Absorbonapkin has done wonders for me! Now I just have to soak the entire corner up, instead of taking just one person! Its ggggrrrrrreat!"
-Tony the Tiger
THAT'S RIGHT, AND FOR JUST $9.95, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR VERY OWN ABSORBONAPKIN!
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE
NEED TO SHOWER, BUT DO NOT HAVE A SHOWERHEAD? USE BurnIt TO BURN THOSE PESKY GERMS AWAY!
ITS PORTABLE AND EASY TO USE! JUST POUR THE EASY TO APPLY CLEANING FLUID TO YOUR BODY, ATTACH THE IGNITOR, AND WATCH THOSE PESKY GERMS JUST MELT AWAY!
AND IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL GET NOT ONLY 1 ABSORBONAPKIN AND 1 BURNIT, BUT 2! 2 MIRACLE PRODUCTS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!
LET'S SEE THOSE TESTIMONIALS AGAIN:
"BurnIt works the first time, every time! Sure I don't have skin anymore, but I am 100% germ free!"
-Matthew Donabry, Ph.D. and insane person
"Burnit is great on dogs as well! They seem to enjoy it, and mine hasn't moved since we gave him the treatment. Must not want to get dirty I suppose!"
-Shelly Blake, Blonde
"Burnit is so fabulous, I used it to get rid of that germy smell from my dead husband! Now the cops aren't after me!"
-CLASSIFIED NAME, CLASSIFIED OCCUPATION
THAT'S RIGHT!
AND ALL THIS CAN BE YOURS IF YOU CALL NOW AT 1-800-2499-9999-2000-1233!
AGAIN THAT NUMBER IS 1-800-2499-9999-2000-1233!
CALL NOW!
Spokesperson's teeth smile brilliantly, sticking up his thumbs, almost painfully
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